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What it takes to date a single mom

As a mom of busy kids, dating is not an easy task. I am not sure how Kim K. has done it so fast! Dating a single mom is not for the faint of heart. Even if you find time for a first date, it takes a patient, understanding man with a particular set of qualities to hang in there.

Ladies, it is ok and recommended to have expectations and know what you want. However, the best things happen when you don't expect them, and when you both understand the expectations, it is so worth the effort, magical. So here are my top tips for dating a single mom.

Make plans. I am always making plans for several people and figuring out logistics. I am looking for a partner, not another child, to take care of. You don't have to constantly be the one coming up with fun/romantic dates, but it can't be all on the woman.

Make my life easier. If you make it feel more complicated with games or half-truths, I don't have time for that. I have learned that being honest and upfront about who you are is the best approach.

A man who voluntarily rubs my feet, and it's not a chore to him, is keeper potential. Ok, so this could be awkward on the first date.

I am not available on demand, nor should any woman be. I have people depending on me and may need me at all hours. When a teenager has a problem, talking through it may take hours. I can't always respond immediately to text messages, phone calls, and dates may be delayed or canceled. It does not necessarily mean I am not interested.

Be exciting and intellectual. There are never enough hours in my day. So if you are getting my attention, make it enjoyable and don't just talk about work or the weather. It makes me daydream of how I could have spent my free time instead snuggled in bed catching up on the Netflix series everyone else has time to watch or with my girlfriends giggling and drinking wine. Better yet, make me laugh on a date.

I have many superpowers; mind reading is not one of them. I want a partner who can tell me what they think and feel. If I am left to wonder or guess, my mind will start to daydream about better ways I could be spending my time, like getting my favorite takeout, a hot bubble bath, cleaning out my closets, etc.

Yes, I have a fun, exciting life. But, no, you don't get to instantly be a part of that. I have a tight inner circle. You may someday be there, but it does not happen after date one, 2, or even 10. I have put a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into building such an extraordinary life for myself and my kiddos. I am not going to allow just anyone into that life. Earn my trust first, by all the above.

My favorite dateline has been, "Do you fancy an ice cream?" This made me laugh out loud because it was so simple and fun. He did get a date, and several after, although he still owes me ice cream. Dating has its ups and downs but can be a fun, enjoyable process. Enjoy!

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