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When you experience gaslighting, it's confusing and may take months or years to sort out. There are endless articles, books, and online resources that can provide helpful tips that can leave your head swirling. When is it gaslighting? Here are some tips I have learned in identifying this malicious, manipulative behavior in my own life.


Gaslighting is when someone tells you you're wrong or events didn't happen the way you think they did. It makes you question yourself.


Know that someone using gaslighting is often trying to stop the truth from coming out or wants to have control over you.

People that use this form of abuse are continually defensive. They never acknowledge they are part of the problem; It is always your fault. They will often use phrases that never happened. You made it up. You're mistaken/delusional. It is common for gaslighters to say you're too sensitive, you always cause drama, and you're overacting. If you are continuously blamed for their problems, and they are unwilling to work with you or problem solve a situation and just place blame, that is gaslighting.


Gaslighters tell friends and family (or anyone who will listen) lies to discredit you and create distance between you and others. This behavior is, again, part of the manipulation and control. It's like they have diarrhea of the mouth. They can't stop talking, not allowing others to ask questions to poke holes in their stories. Their stories often change because they twist facts and can't keep them straight. In these stories, you are always the cause of all their problems.


In return, they tell you that everyone is against you, and they think you're an awful person. This makes you question your relationships and creates space that isolates you from others. For example, I have been told the entire community and family members are against me, or specific people the gaslighter has never met.


Once you learn more about gaslighting, you can spot and label this behavior and create boundaries to keep yourself safe and sane. My experience is you begin to have empathy for the abuser. Constantly having to make up stories, keep them straight and not have, fulfilling relationships because they need to have control is a sad way to live life.


As always, I highly recommend seeking professional help like a licensed therapist. You can find one here. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists


If you are experiencing any abuse, please know there is help. Here are a couple of helpful resources.

800.799.SAFE (7233)








I love Halloween and all holidays! My youngest and I recently made playdough bombs for his classmates, which I call them but probably not an appropriate name for something you send to school. These treats are also a trick because they are filled with little spiders, bats, or any other small Halloween toys you can find. This is a fun, hands-on activity with your elementary or preschool kids and can also be adapted for Christmas with different colors and scents like ginger.


1. Make a basic playdough recipe. Find mine below.

2. Add color and scent – This year, we did orange with pumpkin pie spice sprinkled in and a separate batch of dark purple (or you can do black) with Anise Extract added to smell like black licorice. I highly recommend wearing gloves and mixing them with your hands. Playdough feels amazing squeezing through your fingers and using your hands mixes the color and scents more evenly.

3. Divide the playdough into balls the size of small apples. The recipe below will give you about six balls a batch.

4. Flatten the balls you just made by pressing down on them with your hand. The playdough should be a couple of inches thick once flattened.

5. Sprinkle small Halloween trinkets/toys on the flattened playdough.

6. Form the playdough back into a ball. The trinkets you just added are in the center of the ball.

7. We bag them into individual Halloween treat bags and seal them, so air doesn’t dry the playdough.


The kids will be delighted to have the scented, fun playdough and surprised to find the treats you hid inside. Happy Halloween!


Playdough recipe

Highly recommend wearing disposable gloves. Makes about six playdough bombs.


· Heat 1 ¾ cup of water in the microwave for 3 mins


· Mix the following in a bowl:

o 2 cups all-purpose flour

o 1 cup salt

o 2 tbs. vegetable or canola oil

o 1 tbs. cream of tartar


· Add preferred food coloring to the hot water.

· Add hot water to the flour mixture.

· Add 1 tbs. of preferred scent (or more if you want a stronger fragrance)



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